We all know about the brouhaha drummed up by the left and its unlikely ally the AIADMK supremo Jayalalithaa Jayaram on the eve of the Chennai visit of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Nimitz.  

Television channels have gone radioactive about the whole thing. Indigenous defence experts have opined that there is no danger to the southern metropolis because the ship (at least three times bigger than our own aircraft carrier INS Viraat) will anchor at around three miles away from the Chennai dock.

The left which sees red in virtually anything the US does and has cried foul citing security and catastrophe concerns if something funny happens on July 1.

Under normal circumstances, I would have ignored the ado because Nimitz has a 100 percent safety record during its 32-year existence. The Americans do not have flex their muscles to scare the subcontinent's inhabitants as they have plenty of other things to worry about globally like the mess in Iraq, the sniping in Afghanistan by the Taliban, the security concerns in the Middle-East following Iran's attempts to get nuclear weapons, the mystery that is North Korea, the uprising in our north western neighbourhood against Pakistan's providing victuals and provision of other bric-a-brac to their troops on the sly and so on.

The entire theory of our security being compromised because we are allowing the ship's crew to have a rest cure isn't worth a burnt out matchstick as our frigates do it all the time. That apart, we once had a nuclear powered submarine supplied by Russia.

So much for the danger from radiation through nuclear powered ships.

Further the days of the cold war (when we wanted the Indian Ocean as a Zone of Peace – parroting the former Soviet Union's foreign policy given as a handout to us by the KGB and the GRU) have become distant memories that serve no useful purpose.

Having spent more than 30 years in this neck of the woods, I am savvy enough to know neither Jayalalithaa nor the Communists are fruitcakes enough to run this nutty exercise on this premise alone.

Therefore, it can obviously be politics.

The third front (christened the headless wonder UNPA) and the entire left in the nation need to pull their chestnuts out of the fire due to the following set of incidents.

In the recent past, like the bosses of our cricketing establishment, Jayalalithaa backed the wrong, old and unwilling horse [read APJ Abdul Kalam] and proposed another equally obstinate mare [read Fathima Beevi] as the presidential candidates of the United National Progressive Alliance (the new political entity that is going nowhere very fast and rebelling against our Amma's stiflingly dictatorial ways).

The left too repeatedly rejected the choices of the Congress High Command and UPA chairperson rolled into one Sonia Gandhi under various pretexts.

Pratibha Patil has emerged as the compromise candidate and for the time being, seems to be batting on a good wicket against the bowling of "independent" veteran challenger Bhairon Singh Shekhawat.

Now the grapevine has indicated that the DMK boss wants the post of the Vice President as do the left stalwarts.

In other words, both the left and the AIADMK have enough reasons to upset Kalaingar's applecart.

But, on which issue could they find common cause?

The communists had railed and ranted against the DMK's railroading tactics going to the extent of going to courts during the Chennai Corporation polls a few months ago. But the opening wasn't big enough so it didn't jell then.

And then there the Dinakaran incident – wherein three innocent people lost their lives. Despite expression of solidarity by the biggest denomination of journalists' movements (which always had a centrist disposition) nothing came of it since it was clear that the media really had no powers. There was a generous presence of left sympathisers who promised vanguard action. On his part, Kalanidhi Maran who owns the media empire painted the town red by vowing to seek justice and promised a huge compensation for the families of the three breadwinners lost in the fracas. Not only nothing came of but also there are several journalists who hint that the compensation is yet to reach the affected. So that too fizzled out.

As all this was happening, Karunanidhi went hammer and tongs at Jayalalithaa calling her the laughing stock of the political scene who brought dishonour to President Kalam by involving him into the cesspool of politics.

At the national level, the communists are propping up the UPA government which has stopped consulting them on vital issues for a long time.

As a result, they want their own candidate as the VP to redress this anomaly.

In fact, globalisation, economic liberalisation, disinvestment, et al were all capers that symbolically became red capes waved at the bullish left by the UPA matadors.

So there was a need for a twain where the UNPA and the left could meet.

The visit of the American aircraft carrier came in handy. Jayalalithaa began a diatribe which was echoed by the left.

Anyway they had a point to prove against Union Defence Minister AK Anthony (who belongs to Kerala and therefore is a sworn enemy of the Left Democratic Front) for speaking out of turn in the matter.

For good measure, there was always the odd, angry, retired naval admiral to unearth the issue of sovereignty from its cobwebbed state, recalling the Bangladesh War in 1971 when USS Enterprise was surprised by Soviet submarines in the Bay of Bengal before television cameras for his too minutes of fame.

Television journalism is all about instant news – since there no time to stand and stare at the other hand that completes the trick.

In this context, we have a convenient foreign hand (a favourite expression of Mrs. Indira Gandhi) from far off lands to point the other way when the the political pot is boiling.  

The US establishment in India (be it Chennai or New Delhi) cannot say the obvious thing. It can only dovetail the spotless record of Nimitz – which has provided the grist to political mill – lasting several minutes on television channels and newspapers.

As far as danger from radiation goes, the charge is all pure poppycock. And by doing silly things like this, our people will welcome the visit which will surely be shown on television. Further, the US has better things to do than endanger the lives of over 5000 of its lives on board Nimitz.

Like nincompoops, we will end up being awed by the spectacle.

Didn't the masses get excited by the illogical Shivaji – The Boss?